Not so long ago i was crying , whining ; cussing love , remorseful for falling in love . Until i whiped my tears and thought what went wrong , is there something wrong with me ? why isn’t god showing mercy apon my heart ? . What did i do wrong ? . I’m tired , I’m drained , i can’t do this love thing anymore . Even when I’m in a relationship i feel lonely . I prayed and heard voices in my head saying you made the biggest mistake let me free you from it . There is nothing wrong with you ; you are a good person and you try .For every bad you do a ton of good so I’m here to save you before you loose you for the wrong reasons . My thoughts got disturbed i tried replaying what the voices in my head had told me and i remembered . I asked my self what mistake … no answer i asked my self again still no answer . I sent a text to my friends asking them to tell me anything they know about love . The replies were funny , mostly cussing love , supporting on each other with I’m no longer falling inlove again its a trap , free trip to pain . I asked my self why though they such good people and they look nice on an eye sight . In the mist of that though i realised I FELL IN LOVE FOR THE WRONG REASONS . I fought my self with that saying no its was love i was in love , i was really in love . The voice came back in my head and said if it was really love you wouldn’t be hurting but rejoicing you found love and you in love ; but … . No . The voice repeated ; You fell in love for the wrong reasons . That’s why you hurting now . I shuffled on the bed feeling so annoyed and distracted . Well i tried to analyze what the voice in my head has proposed to my mind .
I’ll admit it and say Yes ; I fell in love for the wrong reasons . I captured all the reasons and they as follow :.
:Cause the guy was good looking , monied.
:I wanted attention .
:I wanted someone I’ll blame , pick fights with , be petty .
:Pass time .
:Use them as a rebound to cover up the wounds i had from a past relationship that got toxic cause we were both in it for the wrong reasons .
There is a lot more even minor things drove me to fall inlove with someone . By me wanting attention even when someone showed the slightest effort i fell for it and got hurt from it . At the same time i don’t blame my self for all that has happened to me , I’m just happy i finally found out what’s wrong with me as much as i never did damage to any guys hearts . I’ve analyzed things by criticizing me in order to better me .
So i thought let me share this it is very important to acknowledge the real reasons to why you in love with your partner . Is it more for you than it is for them ; is it for the right reasons or wrong reasons . Somethings can be justified by ones mind , think carefully cause you might think you doing right and give in your all only to find out you played your self you forced your self in a relationship that wasn’t meant to be from the first place then you blame your self .
#Always trust the voices in your head and your gut feeling , in the beginning of every relationship it told me this is not the one and it wont be fun now run , but I didn’t listen so i gave in more energy to sustain it cause my mind was battling with my heart every minute of the day . My mind understood the correlation between wrong and right ; but my heart wanted to love and take wrong and make it right . Which is so draining and every time I try i felt like i was failing .
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